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View Full Version : Bored with this word stuff! Irish Altzheimers



pejayaitch
5th February 2014, 20:49
Murphy shows up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had not set foot in the church since he was 10 years old.
After Mass the priest caught up with him and sats, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"
Murphy says, "I gotta be honest with ya Father, a while back I misplaced me hat and I really really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat look mine and I know he comes to Mass every Sunday. I also knew he had to take off his hat during Mass and would leave it at the back of the church, so I was going to leave after communion and steal McGlynn's hat
The priest said," Well Murphy, I notice ya didn't steal his hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied," Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynns hat after all"
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big hug and said,"After I talked about THOU SHALT NOT STEAL ya decided to do without your hat rather than burn in hell"
Murphy slowly shook his head, "No father, after ya talked about Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, twas then I remembered where oi left me hat."

Next please!

Madambreakneck
7th February 2014, 11:06
is this an original joke or is cut'n'paste allowed?

I do recall listening to a classic hell fire and damnation sermon in a church in Liverpool delivered in the best Dublin accent only to notice later that the priest had joined his flock in the pub across the road after mass had ended.

Joan

pejayaitch
7th February 2014, 11:11
Priests have been known to enjoy sharing with their parishioners and if your man was from Dublin he needs to stay in touch with his roots or at least, keep his roots properly watered.

Madambreakneck
7th February 2014, 11:33
Ah happy days. I recall the bar in the Irish Centre, just round the corner from Paddy's Wigwam, stacked up with part-poured pints of Guinness settling gently in preparation for topping up when the rush came after the Sunday high mass. 'Twas a cracking session that followed.

pejayaitch
7th February 2014, 13:32
I have vague, but I am sure, happy memories of times spent with Irish folk musicians in the Coventry area years ago, and of gigs in the Leicester RC social club. Guiness is good for you!