What can I get you?

[tomshep]

Asks the barman of the weasel who has just walked in.
"Pop." goes the weasel.

[Joan Walsh]

Q: Why are elephants such bad dancers?
A: Because they have 2 left feet.

[Martin Watson]

Okaaaay. Now have got a benchmark on what's expected...

Horse goes into a bar.
Bar man says, "Why the long face?"

[Martin Watson]

So...
A rabbi, a vicar and a priest walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says. "What is this, a joke?"

[Joan Walsh]

I first heard this in a former life at a software project management seminar - I still find it amusing all these years later:

At a recent software engineering management course, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.

[Pete Twissell]

You may have noticed that scuba divers, entering the water from a boat, do so by sitting on the side and falling backwards into the water.
Have you ever wondered why they go in backwards?
Untitled.jpg

If they went forwards, they' just be face down in the boat!